Eerie Portent
I’m wearing Heelys, coasting down a long, gradual arc of paved road outside of town. It’s a beautiful late-afternoon outside and I am enjoying the fresh air, unaware as to how far this impossibly long stretch of smooth gradient is taking me from my apartment. Suddenly, the road I am on comes to and end, the pavement coming to a seam with US-12 rather unexpectedly. I trip over the crease where the two roads unevenly join up. To my chagrin, the wheel breaks on one of my shoes. I look around and realize that it is almost dark and I am very tired, and very far from home. I worry that I won’t be able to make it back, and am scared that if I fall asleep in a ditch somewhere, Something Bad will happen. I begin walking home along the deserted highway.
I get the idea to try hitch-hiking. I stick my thumb out while a small vehicle passes that looks like a Smart Car, only the body is constructed out of old barnwood. The car passes, then stops and begins backing up. The driver is a Wilderness Man. He is bald, with a huge, disheveled beard, and a ring of stringy hair sticking straight out around the back of his head. He is wearing what looks like a lumberjack outfit, and is so large that he fills the entire vehicle. It’s obvious that the both of us would not fit in the tiny car together, so he offers to let me drive his car to my place, then come back with my full-size car and pick him up. I agree, and set off.
On the short drive home, I become incredibly drowsy, nodding off several times. Upon getting into my apartment, I immediately stumble into my room and fall asleep, with just a faint nagging feeling that I am forgetting something. Upon waking up, I find this note scrawled across my face and chest:
I trusted you to bring back my car and you forgot. I’m disappointed in you but I will forgive you this time. Fortunately, I was able to shoot and cook a female bear for dinner. You shouldn’t abandon people who try to help you.
Upon waking up, I check my face and chest to make sure it was all a dream. As I wake up a little more and my mind becomes less foggy, it becomes more and more obvious that it was a dream. Two days later my roommate tells me that his car broke down and a Wilderness Man offered to give him a ride.